Hello! It is so nice to talk to you again. Today is February 10th, if you’re listening today. We are only four days from Valentine’s Day, so we are going to talk about love magick today. I’m feeling a little sappy, but I’m a Libra. We are ruled by Venus, so we are all about love, harmony and relationships. And I’m leaning into that today. There is no shame in my game, we are going all in on love magic.
Now I have said before that I don’t do love magick to fix relationships in which one person is a cheating bastard, or doesn’t treat their partner right in general. I am not interested in doing magic to try and get decent treatment out of someone shitty. That’s not the kind of magick we are going to talk about today. We are going to talk about magick for putting a little spice back into an established relationship, we will talk about magick for finding love if you happen to be a single witch, and we will also talk about magick for self-love, which is really the most potent form of love magick we can do.
When we are radiating self-love, when true, deep, all-encompassing self-love is emanating from us, we really become irresistible. People are drawn to us, it’s magnetic. Think about the most charismatic person you have ever known. Think about why that person was able to draw others in. Whoever this person is that you’re thinking of was probably not constantly putting themselves down. This is probably a confident person. Not cocky, but self-assured. This is such an important aspect of attracting others, and not just in a romantic way, but in general. So even though I think we can hear self-love magick and think eh, that’s lame, that just could not be further from the truth. So we are going to talk about that too.
Now the thing about self-love magick in particular, is that it’s going to be very individualized. Only you know where your self-love blockages lie, you know what I mean? So if you’re having difficulty feeling very loving and powerful and enamored of yourself, you’re going to have to do a little introspection and sort of home in what you think that you’re not bringing to the table, and stop making whatever those issues are, larger than they need to be. Once you are able to be honest and look at yourself objectively you’ll be able to identify those areas where you need to lift yourself up.
And the easiest way to do that is to think of yourself the way you would think of a friend. If you had a friend who was very down on him or herself, who felt like the reason they couldn’t find someone special was because they didn’t deserve it, it would probably be easy for you to identify those areas of insecurities and tell your friend why they’re amazing anyway. And we have to do that shit for ourselves too. So, before you begin self-love work, or rather, as the first step in performing this kind of work, get a sheet of paper and a pen and ask yourself honestly what you think you may need to focus on, and then based on that list, we can start to develop a spell.
HOWEVER, this doesn’t mean that we are working a spell to change a bunch of stuff about ourselves. If one of the things on my list is that I feel like I won’t find love until I lose this last 15 pounds, I’m not going to do a weight loss spell and call it a self-love spell. Because that isn’t the same thing. I can love myself and respect myself and recognize that I am worthy of a healthy, loving relationship AND ALSO have some goals for myself that I haven’t met yet. We are all a work in progress. None of us is perfect and we can’t hold ourselves to that kind of standard.
So when I say to write down what you want to focus on, I might add to that list self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-confidence. Spells for self-love are not spells to change a bunch of things. This is a spell to love myself, along with all of my flaws. And it is a spell to recognize all of the good things about me that I am proud of and that I think I do well. So we are going to add those things to our list as well. And finally, we are going to add to our list those things that we intend to manifest for ourselves.
And I’m not talking about you know, that promotion at work, or a new apartment or something, I mean things you want to manifest for your spiritual or emotional well-being. The purpose of this list is to write a spell, essentially a love letter, to yourself. You’re going to pour your heart out to the universe, you’re going to describe yourself in glowing terms. You are writing about yourself the way that you would write about someone you love and admire.
You can address this spell to the universe, to Spirit, to a particular deity that you work with, or even to the moon, which is how I’ve addressed the example spell I’ve created. If you’re especially poetic, you can make it rhyme, if you’re not especially poetic, as I am not, you don’t have to worry about it. So once we’ve got everything written down, we can play with the wording until we are happy with it, and end up with something like this:
My beloved moon,
I am Eli, and I stand in awe of your beauty and in gratitude for your love.
I am kind, and I am loving. I am a good friend, I am thoughtful, I am creative, I am compassionate, I attract good people into my life. I am generous, and I am resilient.
I learn and grow every day. I help others, and I accept help from others when I am in need of it. I become more powerful and more wise with every passing year. I have a wonderful family, and I am surrounded by people who love me. I love myself, and I love who I will yet become.
This is my vow. So mote it be.
Now the important thing, when you’re working your self-love spell, is to make sure that everything you say, all of the things from your list, including everything that you want to become, and everything you like about yourself that you already are, is spoken in the same present tense, as if it’s already all true. As if you’ve already become the person you’re trying to create. This is important and it’s the same thing we do in every kind of spell; speak it as if it’s already yours.
So when you hear the little example spell I wrote, you can’t tell the difference between what is already true about me and what I am still working on, what I’m trying to manifest. And the universe doesn’t know the difference either; you speak those wonderful qualities about yourself and the universe believes you, so it helps to make it so.
So we have our written spell (of course, you’re going to use your own words), what else do we need? Well that depends on what we want to draw in. If you want to use herbs, crystals or oils to match your specific self-love intentions, then you need to identify what those intentions are. If we wrote confidence on our list, we might want to use cedar, oak, rosemary, agate, obsidian, or tiger’s eye, if we want to manifest more self-acceptance, we will use mustard, ruby, or clover, and if we want self-forgiveness, we might try geranium, wormwood, rhodonite, or Apache tears.
Now if you’re a single witch looking to find a companion of some kind, there are a lot of elements for attraction spells, such as dragon’s blood, both the oil and the incense work very well, also chamomile, jasmine, strawberry, mandrake, and vanilla, amber, moonstone, and topaz. Any of those elements, or a combination, will work beautifully for candle spells, particularly red or green candles. They will also work nicely in a ritual bath. You can word your spell however you like, of course, but be specific about the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner, and be specific about what kind of partnership you’re trying to manifest as well.
If you’re just interested in a dating situation, nothing necessarily long-term, you know, something kind of casual, then say so in your spell. If you are looking for something more serious, then you will want to say that too. There are 8 billion people on this planet; whatever it is you’re looking for, that person is out there. But you’ll have to call for them, so the more specifically you word your petition, the more likely you are to get someone who is a good fit for you.
When you are figuring out the wording in your spell, consider that you may want to describe this person first of all, as if they are already here, but also think about it like this: imagine that you’ve already met this person, and you’re describing them to your best friend. So you’re going to say things like, he is so thoughtful, he’s really considerate, he’s kind, we have a lot in common, he is such a great listener, etc. You’re talking about this person in the present tense as if you already have this person in your life.
And again, once you’ve got your shopping list of qualities in a partner, you’re going to want to use materials in your spell that correspond with those qualities. So your partner is kind, maybe some allspice and jade, your partner is optimistic, perhaps juniper and citrine, they are successful, how about lemon balm and carnelian. Maybe your partner is passionate, so you’ll use coriander and opal. And if your partner is generous, try honeysuckle and cat’s eye.
And by the way, yes, there are definitely ethical considerations that go into any kind of love spell work. But I’m not here to lecture you; I am disseminating this information with the understanding that you are responsible for your own spellwork and any backlash that may come of it. If you’re going to do a love spell to get the attention of someone you already know, someone you want to date and that person is already in a relationship, well, that’s messy and gross and I don’t recommend it. But it’s also your problem, so proceed with caution and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Now if you are already in a relationship and all you’re really interested in doing is putting some fire back into the physical aspect of that relationship, we are going to put together a love oil. Disclaimer here right off the top, if you’re going to use this oil to anoint your candles or put in spell jars or something, you can just use the essential oils themselves. However, if you plan to use this oil for massage, or to draw sigils or symbols onto your own body or onto your lover’s body, you must dilute the essential oils in a skin-safe carrier oil, like almond oil or vitamin E, and just use a couple drops of each essential oil and DO NOT use these oils directly on your genitals.
So to ignite passions we are going to add to our love oil a few drops of cinnamon oil for lust, passionflower oil for attraction, rose oil for love, some vanilla for its aphrodisiac qualities, I would add some frankincense to add that spiritual quality to the experience, and I would add some plant materials as well, rose petals, apple blossoms for happiness, violets which are also great for inciting lust, and I would also add to the bottle some amethyst and some rose quartz.
So to get this whole experience going, to put it all together, I’d anoint a red candle with our love oil, I might carve some symbols or sigils into it, I might even just carve hearts into the wax to keep it simple. Crush some of the herbs we used and roll the anointed candle into them, and light the candle with intention. We want this to be an especially spicy, passionate night to remember. And let me assure you, if you tell your partner that you’ve created this oil and what it’s meant to do, it’s basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re going to get some spice. But you don’t have to tell them. It will work anyway.
And as a last bit of advice, please remember that sex magick is crazy potent, so if you do happen to have other manifestations in the works, you can totally merge this love magick with those other intentions and use your combined orgasms to manifest some powerful results. Never waste an orgasm! And that’s love magick. It isn’t complicated, and it doesn’t have to wait until Valentine’s day or any other day. This is magick you can perform anytime you need it. So have a lovely, sexy valentine’s day, and join me next week. My name is Eli Ro, and this has been the Middle-Aged Witch podcast.